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Men

This weekend, I'm speaking at the Men's retreat for the Livermore Church of Christ. The topic is, "Fearless." It's what every man is supposed to be, isn't it. Yet, in these times, it's hard to not be just a little afraid...or even a lot afraid.

In some ways, men are the overlooked parishioners of the church. I know that some would disagree with that statement, given what could appear to be a chauvinism of sorts in churches with all male leadership. But, on the whole, men, it seems to me, are among the most disengaged and underachieving demographic groups in the church.

When men of God can catch fire and allow God to use them in to the fullest extent, it's awesome to behold...as it is for a woman of God.

The church struggles with what to say to men. Typically, it says three things.

• Work harder for God.
• Don't look at porn.
• Be a better husband and father. 

This isn't going to captivate their imaginations, or call the best out of them. What's missing, it seems to me, is a clear vision of what a godly man looks like, and what he's capable of. When we reduce godly manhood to work harder, be better, and don't look at porn, we miss out on the potential power of God's work in the lives of men. 

Sex and Money

Sex and money are the two subjects that I believe are the most taboo subjects to talk about openly in the church...certainly from the pulpit. Not coincidentally, sex and money are the two venues in which Satan seems to be gaining ground in the lives of God's people. 

Right now, I'm preaching through the book of Proverbs, which speaks of sexuality a great deal--especially in chapters 5-7. It's virtually impossible to preach Proverbs and not get into the subject of sexuality. Part two will be this Sunday. This past Sunday, I focused on the fact that God actually desires for us to have abundant and joyful sex within the confines of marriages. One of the passages we spoke of was the following:

“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” Proverbs 5:18-19

It isn't one I use as a wedding vow when I perform marriage ceremonies. It isn't probably the best refrigerator magnet Scripture in the world. But, man, is it important to sexual purity. Sexual purity isn't about the squelching of desire, it's about learning to desire rightly. Desiring rightly means, as the Proverbs writer says, delighting and desiring the one that God has given us to desire. We channel our desire toward "the wife of our youth."

We aren't animals. We're created in God's image, and given desire by Him. God can purify  our desires. 

Some will ask, "how am I supposed to keep my thought world pure when I’m surround by commercials, media, internet stuff that is designed to make me think about sex. How am I supposed to not look when someone that hot walks by me?" By depending on God, and by purifying our eyes. Martin Luther once said, regarding keeping our lust in check, “You can’t keep a bird from flying over your head, but you can keep it from building a nest in your hair.” We must protect our eyes as we pursue holiness. God will accept and bless that sacrifice.

May the Lord keep his people from "nest-building," and fill us with intoxication for the love of our spouse. This is God's will for us in Christ: joyful and rich sexuality than can only be had to the full within the hot and pure garden of marriage.

Now on ITunes

NCCC sermons are now available through ITunes!

Getting Things Done?

I love David Allen's book Getting Things Done. As a minister, you HAVE TO come up with some sort of time management system that works for you and follow it religiously...or the week will eat you alive. Why? Because it's easy to procrastinate as a minister. It's not the procrastination that comes from laziness (though I know many who struggle with it)...it's delaying the sometimes more difficult and less comfortable stuff of ministry--confronting people, preparing the delicate or challenging message, returning phone calls you know won't be pleasant, or taking aggressive steps to move the church forward that need to happen--but are likely to make our lives much more turbulent than peaceful. 

Here's the truth: When we delay, things typically get worse, not better. And, as we procrastinate, responsibilities pile up and we begin to feel overwhelmed. When we feel overwhelmed we begin to procrastinate further because we don't know where to begin and wonder if our work will actually accomplish anything given how much we have to do. 

Today, make the difficult phone call. Say what needs to be said. Have the difficult conversation. Return the email that's been sitting there forever. Take a step up a high and steep Kingdom mountain. And don't procrastinate. The Lord is with Thee.

Here's a funny video that mocks procrastination. Sometimes, it's good to just sit down and, as my friends in Texas say... "Get 'er done."

San Francisco

Emily has been wanting to see San Francisco for a while. I've heard really good things about it as well from those I know that either live in the area, or have "touristed" there. So, we went for a few days at the end of last week.

I learned some time ago that one of the greatest blessings I can provide my children is to be in a thriving marriage to their mother. In the same vein, one of the greatest services I can provide a church as their minister is to role-model healthy family life...not just talk about what it ought to look like. Our family has it's issues sometimes like all families do, but I decided some time ago that if our family ever went through challenging stretches, I'd rather it be for a reason besides that I didn't give enough of myself to Emily and the girls.

I decided some time ago that I will give everything I can to the church. That's just in my bloodstream. At the same time, I've been given the great gift of an amazing wife and two beautiful girls that I have been called to love and serve as well. It's something I'm eternally thankful to God for, and will handle with the greatest joy and care.

One of the ways Emily and I try to keep our marriage strong and thriving is by rather rigidly spending regular alone time together. We generally go out or stay in at least once a week, and try to get out of town once a quarter or so...more if the opportunity presents itself. It's always just the two of us. Dinner out with friends isn't the same. Taking the kids with you isn't the same. Both of those things are good...they just aren't the same.

So, we went to San Francisco. We saw Fisherman's Wharf, stayed in Union Square, rode the cable cars, etc. But, the highlight of our trip was walking across the Golden Gate Bridge...the whole thing.

We didn't start out to do that. We were only going to go half-way. The view from the middle was breath-taking. So was spitting off the bridge....priceless :)

Walking and talking with coffee in hand across the 1.7 mile-long bridge was absolutely priceless. It was about 4 in the afternoon...and the sun was hitting the bay in just the right way. It was windy and cold, but was just one of those marital moments that you tuck away in your marital memory bank and throw away the key.

I'd really like to hear from you all. What do you do to keep your marriage strong and thriving? What advice have you heard from other couples that has helped you?

A Great Week

Sorry I've been off line for quite a bit now. Last week was the National Pastor's Convention, followed by a Valentine's weekend getaway with Emily to San Francisco. I'll cover San Francisco tomorrow. Here are the highlights from the convention:

• Seeing friends... Ronnie Norman, Jim Martin, and a few others around the convention.
• William Willimon's typically dry, sarcastic rudeness was hilarious and provided the shrubbery for a garden of good counsel on preaching.
• Larry Osborne's typically sage and brilliant advice on leadership. He did a section called, "What game are we playing?" in which he likened leadership systems to various types of sports teams. Others have tried to do the same, but Osborne did it brilliantly. Larry Osborne is one of the lesser known megachurch pastors out there. That's a shame. He's one of the most insightful. You should grab "Sticky Church" if you haven't yet...or buy it for your Small Group leaders.
• In an on-stage interview with Andy Crouch of Christianity Today Internatinal, Ugandan and Rwandan church leader Emmanuel Katongole pointing out that Rwanda, at the time of it's genocide, was 87% professing Christian. He noted his shame at the behavior of Christians who said through their actions that "The blood of tribalism runs deeper than the waters of baptism." The crowd gasped and said, "Oooohhh..." That phrase has haunted me since he uttered it.
• Rob Bell's message to the gathered pastors on learning the discipline of radical forgiveness was quite good...and typically creative and funny at the same time. I will confess that Rob Bell hasn't been one of my favorites because of some theological issues I've got with he and some of the other emergent guys. However, his message at the NPC (the first I'd heard live) was really, really good.
• The book sale. AWESOME!!!! I won't have to buy another book for a while. The one I'm looking forward to reading the most is Denise George's What Pastor's wish Church Members Knew.

It was my first time attending the NPC. It's every year in the same time slot. If you haven't been...you need to come to beautiful San Diego next year and partake of the spiritual buffet that's here. The National Outreach Convention is also here every year in November.

NPC

This is the week of the National Pastor's Convention here in San Diego. This is my first NPC, and there are lots of things I'm looking forward to--including getting my ministerial world built up and shaken up by the likes of:

• Larry Osborne 
• William Willimon
• Bill Hybels
• John Ortberg
• Shaine Claiborne
• Brian McLaren
• Rob Bell 

If you're out here, be on the look out for me...I'll be the guy with the cup of coffee :)  
  
  
  

Torre on Winning

I'm about half-way through Joe Torre's new book, The Yankee Years. It's an absolutely fascinating read. I chose to read it because I love a baseball and I love leadership. Joe Torre is, to me, one of the great coaches of all time...and he accomplished what he accomplished the right way. 

Click here for a video of Bob Costas (now with the MLB network) and Joe Torre discussing his relationship with Alex Rodriguez. He's pretty tough on A-Rod in the book. A-Rod's having a tough week.

I am right now becoming an MLB network fanatic and rediscovering my love for baseball all over again. It isn't just Bob Costas, or the documentaries, etc. It's the lessons on leadership that you can pick up all over the place.

Here's one. It's a quote from Patton applied to a situation in which Derek Jeter played hurt in the 2002 World Series against Arizona (which they lost): "If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body is not tired if the mind is not tired."

Torre knew how to work with George Steinbrenner and the New York media. Torre respected his players and gelled them into a cohesive unit in which every individual submitted their good to the good of the team. As much as I hated those teams, I certainly had utmost respect for the Torre-era Yankees. They did things the right way.

The New Nccofc.org

In about 2 weeks, North County will launch it's new web site at nccofc.org. Our hope is the that, with time, it becomes a storehouse of spiritual resources. There will be a lot of obvious improvements - style, navigation, etc., but one that will be obvious right away is the new media channel...which will have archives of all messages preached at North County in both audio and video (the latter will take a bit of time)...with a sleek navigation system in the likeness of ITunes. What you see is one rough draft of the front page. It won't look just like this...but something close.

In addition, we hope to have some creative ways of making the site a port of entry for people both into the church and into the beginning of a walk with Christ.

In my opinion, most Churches of Christ spend FAR too little (if any) energy and resources on technology and graphic arts that can make a real difference in the church's ability to both connect with younger generations and seriously impact all generations. There will be other posts on this subject in the days ahead. We've been working really hard on this at NCCC, and will continue to do so in the months and years ahead.

I'd be curious to know what some of your churches are doing to raise the bar in this area. Do you find it hard to get your church to pay attention to things like technology and graphic arts?

Yesterday - The Sights and Sounds

A bell rings...still dark...

Hot water...

Soap in the eyes...

Get dressed...

Bad hair day...

Singing...

praying...

preaching...

greeting...

Beautiful day...72 and sunny

Chips, queso, cookies

Yelling... "YEAH!!!!"

Half-time

BBQ Burgers

More chips, queso, cookies

"OH NO!!!"""

"YEEAAAAHHH"

"NO!"

"YEEEAAAAHHH"

"OH NO!!!!!"

Steelers win :(

Put dishes in sink and load...

Silence in the house...all is calm

Watch "The Office"

Laugh, laugh

DVR didn't catch the end of the show

Doh!

Nighty night.

Zzzzzzzzzz....